People in the UK are so ashamed about having pale skin (I most certainly can relate living here in Miami) that they resort to illegal drugs, which, they believe, enhance their tan – no matter what the consequences are.

The tanning drugs are called melantan I and melantan II, and are widely available on the Internet at discount prices (just like every other drug, right?). The drug is a synthetic hormone, which stimulates the production of melanin, which is what gives our skin its color.

The many horrible side effects can include: damage to the immune system and cardiovascular system, vomiting, appetite suppression, flushing of the face and high blood pressure.

Hmmm, risking your health to look good on the beach. Sounds stupid.